Damn Him for Being Right
On Saturday my sister, brother-in-law, and I went and had a pleasant lunch. As we came up to the same light that Nick (my brother-in-law) had once asked Sionne (my sister) to smell his beard, Nick became enraged when Sionne said that she had mentioned Nan (my "cousin")'s help in my blog and not his.Nick is not even on Facebook, where the previous mentioning had occurred, but was none the less infuriated. He pointed out, in the loudest tone conceivable, that the blog was his idea and he deserved all the credit. I shouted from the back seat, you know the place where all younger siblings have to be, that I deserved the credit because I write and create it. But of course that fell on deaf ears. Sionne was arguing that my blog was about online dating, which was Nan's idea. Not Crohn's Disease, which was Nick's idea. We dropped it when we entered the restaurant because we are fat and were starving.
After lunch they came back to my house to play and cuddle with the cutest dog on Earth. That dog's name is Max and has no relevance to this story except I am obsessed with him. During the love I showed them the new post I was writing for this very blog. They both agreed that it was hilarious, well written, and worth a pulitzer.* However, Nick started harping (screaming) on the fact that no matter how fantastic* and wonderful* I am, that what I am writing about is not ground-breaking. He was right, but I did not give a monkey's flinging crap until I realized that in order to keep this blog going I would actually have to go on more dates.
I had planned all my posts out and only had about 18. That would only last me a few weeks and then people would be expecting me to have new stories. New stories would have to come from me leaving the comfort of my own home and exploring the outside world. Having the same desire to go on a date as I do to watch Olympic figure skating I realized I might have to listen to him.
I do have Crohn's and it does affect every aspect of my life and has been for 15 of my 25 years. It is the only thing other than the war going on inside of me from being a walking oxymoron (Lebanese/German Jew) that is unique. And I don't have the Crohn's that consists of having a stomachache and going on webmd. I have real, awful, crap-filled Crohn's. And damn if I can not make that funny.
I apologize in advance, if you do not like the direction that this blog will take, but it will be real. It will be filled with gross medical stories, crazy shit flying all over the place, anger, fury, and hope. It will also be quick-witted, smart, and I still have those 18 dating stories!
*I can't remember his exact compliments, but these seem similar and truthful