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Showing posts from March, 2017


I don't usually post about things as they are happening live in my life. I am normally too emotional and raw (and sometimes too high) to talk about them, but after some insistence from Sionne, here we are. Welcome to my Hell Hole.
I am fucking miserable.
I stopped taking my Allegra, Nasacort, and Benadryl two weeks ago. I had an allergy appointment scheduled a week ago and the allergist said that I needed one week off of allergy medication in order for his testing to be effective. Four years ago I went to an allergist and the skin test revealed that I was allergic to absolutely fucking everything they tested.  They thought that meant that my Crohn's was flaring, in a shocking twist, so I never got any treatment. This year, in my quest to get as healthy as I possibly can, I actually obeyed a doctor's order. It wasn't great, but it wasn't unlivable.  
Then, at the appointment last week, the tests still didn't work.  The allergist told me that I needed another de…

Friday Fun Fact- 3/24/17

Friday Fun Fact
Crohn’s disease can affect any part of the GI tract, from the mouth to the anus. It most commonly affects the end of the small intestine (the ileum) where it joins the beginning of the colon. Crohn’s disease may appear in “patches,” affecting some areas of the GI tract while leaving other sections completely untouched. In Crohn’s disease, the inflammation may extend through the entire thickness of the bowel wall. 

Gabrielle Fun Fact I never wear any under garments unless absolutely necessary. Bras were invented by some sadistic asshole who hated women and underpants get lost in my gigantic ass crack, no matter the kind or the size. Nipple covers are a treasure to women with small or fake boobs, if you haven't tried them you must. But remove before you take your top off because they make your breasts look like alien tits. Terrifying to anyone about to enjoy looking at their nature splendor.

Bucket List

BUCKET LISTGabrielle Rosenfeld Edition
Get engaged-no pressure Jesse, just someday.Get marriedAdopt a child- this is still a maybe, I have to be in remission first and even then it's still a maybeAct in a moviePerform a stand-up actGo skinny dipping- I live at the beach, why is this not done? I am a coward.Skydive- Not inside, Mother!Rock climb-not in a gym, outside like a real adventurerAttend an Olympic game- Summer only!Own a boat- that will never happen, but I can dream. They're just so damn expensive.Own a Bentley- see aboveLive in a City-not a suburb, downtown in a city. Doesn't have to be a huge city, Austin, Portland, San Diego, or DC will be just fine.Walk on a tightrope-with a net underneath, I'm not suicidal.Act on a tv show-non reality, procedural or sitcom are my top 2 choicesBe a Game Show contestant- I've attended "Let's Make a Deal" it was terrible, I'm banking on "Wheel of Fortune" or "Price is Right".Own a pai…


On Thursday I went numb. On Friday I went crazy. They stole my humor.  24 hours without a word from a doctor, the last one I saw told me that he didn't think I was having a stroke, but he'll go talk to his attendings and be back in a couple hours. 24 hours nurses and techs tried to get ahold of a doctor and each time they were dismissed and ignored. 24 hours I sat in a hospital bed wondering what I had done to deserve this, what I had done to be treated like a divorcee begging for her husband to come home and explain why. All I wanted was to talk and ask them a question, all I wanted was to be treated like an equal. They may have spent half their life in medical school, but I spent half my life fighting this disease. We are both experts in the field of Crohns.

My last hospitalization in November and December was two parts I've broken down into parts A and B. I agreed to be admitted to the hospital, begrudgingly, because I had no appetite or thirst. I was in excruciating pai…

Friday Fun Fact-3/17/17

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY to all my Irish and drinking friends. Here are a few fun facts you may not know about Crohn's Disease:

Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis are inflammatorybowel diseases that cause chronic inflammation anddamage in the gastrointestinal (GI) tract.Crohn’s and other IBD diseases can be treated, but not cured.Approximately 1.6 million Americans currently have IBD, which includes Crohn’s disease  a growth of about 200,000 since the last time CCFA reported this figure (in 2011).

Here's an extra special fun fact about Me:

I have a crippling fear of Edward Scissorhands, even writing his name gave me chills. The windows are not allowed to be open in our home because of the scene where he is on the ladder at the window. I am petrified that he will come through it and stab me in the neck. Hope this was the new thing you learned today and enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, please check back on Monday for another juicy Crohnicle.

Once Upon A Throne

Once Upon A Time in a hospital room far, far away in the enchanted land of Baltimore...

I love fairytales more than the average person. I'm 2 steps away from wearing wings and forging my own weapons. I definitely love them more than 90% of men and 78% of women (these numbers are fake, I just made them up. You can do that now). Fairytales have an enchanting power over me and toddlers. For so long I have daydreamed about finally breaking the evil curse.

In my marvelous thoughts, I am a magnificent princess with the greatest hair in all the realms and a rack known throughout the land (every fantasy needs to start with a touch of realism). I rule my kingdom with a strong and noble, yet dainty, fist. When I was 10, I ate an apple from a warlock disguised as John Travolta. Knowing I would take anything he offered me, the apple poisoned my body and made my cells turn against me. Then, one glorious sunny morning in my early 30s, Prince Jesse gallops into my hospital room on a massive hypo…

I'm back

I've lost so many months. I know that sounds odd. How can someone lose months? Easily, time flies when you are chronically ill. I know that sounds odd.
Hours turn into days, days turn into weeks, on and on until one day you realize it's March and you have been hospital sick since October. What the actual flying fuck? I missed winter again. That's twice in 3 years. I lost summer before that...5 years ago.
5 years ago I had to give up my dreams, quit my job, and start contemplating Plan B. I didn't know what the hell Plan B was (my plan, not the pill...phew, what a lifesaver in college). Now, I'm sitting here trying to figure out what Plan F could possibly entail and I can't believe how many seasons I've lost.
I've been sick since I was 10. For years I was wrapped in a blanket in the basement watching Charmed and Sabrina (I thought I was a witch for awhile, not Wiccan, a real magical witch who could control waves. It was a rough time.) At 16 came the blee…