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Today

I don't usually post about things as they are happening live in my life. I am normally too emotional and raw (and sometimes too high) to talk about them, but after some insistence from Sionne, here we are. Welcome to my Hell Hole.

I am fucking miserable.

I stopped taking my Allegra, Nasacort, and Benadryl two weeks ago. I had an allergy appointment scheduled a week ago and the allergist said that I needed one week off of allergy medication in order for his testing to be effective. Four years ago I went to an allergist and the skin test revealed that I was allergic to absolutely fucking everything they tested.  They thought that meant that my Crohn's was flaring, in a shocking twist, so I never got any treatment. This year, in my quest to get as healthy as I possibly can, I actually obeyed a doctor's order. It wasn't great, but it wasn't unlivable.  

Then, at the appointment last week, the tests still didn't work.  The allergist told me that I needed another detox week, this time I had to keep away from the allergy meds, plus my Zantac, my anti depressants/sleeping pills, Restasis, and decrease my pain patch from 37mg to 12mg. Now, keeping in mind that I'm basically just starting to feel better after this last hospitalization situation and we're hitting peak bloom, I was less than thrilled. And now, it's been almost a week and I am counting the minutes to the appointment tomorrow and packing my purse with all of my withheld medications.  There is so much pressure in my head, I'm terrified that my brain may bust out of its cage. I'm so white, if I checked the ethnicity box for "other" as I always do, it would feel like a lie. I am Sleepy's pissed off ghost. 

I am fucking miserable.

Last week was not a total waste of an appointment.  I also found out that I have eczema, environmental allergies, and another autoimmune disease (one more to add the collection, maybe if I find them all I get a prize) that causes me to get random hives, no matter if I am around my triggers. 

I am fucking miserable.

In other progress news from the visit, I had a chance to show the allergist the disgusting rash that looked like dinosaur skin (fresh, not fossilized) that I got from the cleaning agent that my doctor used before giving me trigger point injections at my last GI appointment. Turns out I need to use Vaseline and Aquaphor on my body to keep the moisture in and the rash out. So, I went to the grocery store and bought two tubs of that thick ass shit. Jesse says that it is preserving me, which would be excellent. Diseases be damned, I would love to look this way forever sans the teenage pimples. I used it on Saturday after I showered to lock in that water, knowing that I would put on makeup and do my hair, so it would have time to set. It was over an hour before I could put clothes on and even then I was still moist. Which in addition to being a gross word is not a pleasant sensation; it's right up there with sticky and muddy. It was like DC in the summer when you're inside, but still damp. I am now terrified of taking shower, if that's what I have to look forward to. I'll become a sexy Pig-Pen.

I am fucking miserable. 

How long until tomorrow?

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