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Showing posts from May, 2017

Whiff and Fondle

Oh baby, let me get a whiff of that.

I have a uber restricted diet for three reasons: my surgery, my disease, and my intense and unwavering love for animals.

I watched the documentary "Food Inc." in 2011 and it exacerbated the small part of me that always wanted to be a vegan. I joined PETA and became one of those bleeding hearts. Unfortunately, it only lasted for a few months, not to my mother's surprise, for I became grotesquely anemic. I'll never forget my final day of veganism, it consisted of waking up after 14 hours of sleep, showering, and driving to work, where on the DC beltway, I fell asleep at the wheel going 60 mph and slammed into the back of a pickup truck. It was not coincidentally the last day of my beloved 2000 Lexus ES 300, (which was the pricey successor to the 1996 version which I flipped in 2005 after having it (and my license) for six weeks). After the accident (and weeks of iron infusions) I now call myself an ovo-pescatarian, which means the o…